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The Sorrows of Young Werther (43) by J.W. von Goethe
SEPTEMBER 4.
It is even so! As nature puts on her autumn tints it becomes autumn with
me and around me. My leaves are sere and yellow, and the neighbouring
trees are divested of their foliage. Do you remember my writing to you
about a peasant boy shortly after my arrival here? I have just made
inquiries about him in Walheim. They say he has been dismissed from his
service, and is now avoided by every one. I met him yesterday on the
road, going to a neighbouring village. I spoke to him, and he told me
his story. It interested me exceedingly, as you will easily understand
when I repeat it to you. But why should I trouble you? Why should I
not reserve all my sorrow for myself? Why should I continue to give you
occasion to pity and blame me? But no matter: this also is part of my
destiny.
At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of subdued
melancholy, which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition; but, as
we grew to understand each other, he spoke with less reserve, and openly
confessed his faults, and lamented his misfortune. I wish, my dear
friend, I could give proper expression to his language. He told me
with a sort of pleasurable recollection, that, after my departure, his
passion for his mistress increased daily, until at last he neither knew
what he did nor what he said, nor what was to become of him. He could
neither eat nor drink nor sleep: he felt a sense of suffocation; he
disobeyed all orders, and forgot all commands involuntarily; he seemed
as if pursued by an evil spirit, till one day, knowing that his mistress
had gone to an upper chamber, he had followed, or, rather, been drawn
after her. As she proved deaf to his entreaties, he had recourse to
violence. He knows not what happened; but he called God to witness that
his intentions to her were honourable, and that he desired nothing more
sincerely than that they should marry, and pass their lives together.
When he had come to this point, he began to hesitate, as if there
was something which he had not courage to utter, till at length he
acknowledged with some confusion certain little confidences she had
encouraged, and liberties she had allowed. He broke off two or three
times in his narration, and assured me most earnestly that he had
no wish to make her bad, as he termed it, for he loved her still as
sincerely as ever; that the tale had never before escaped his lips,
and was only now told to convince me that he was not utterly lost and
abandoned. And here, my dear friend, I must commence the old song which
you know I utter eternally. If I could only represent the man as he
stood, and stands now before me, could I only give his true expressions,
you would feel compelled to sympathise in his fate. But enough: you,
who know my misfortune and my disposition, can easily comprehend
the attraction which draws me toward every unfortunate being, but
particularly toward him whose story I have recounted.
On perusing this letter a second time, I find I have omitted the
conclusion of my tale; but it is easily supplied. She became reserved
toward him, at the instigation of her brother who had long hated him,
and desired his expulsion from the house, fearing that his sister's
second marriage might deprive his children of the handsome fortune they
expected from her; as she is childless. He was dismissed at length; and
the whole affair occasioned so much scandal, that the mistress dared not
take him back, even if she had wished it. She has since hired another
servant, with whom, they say, her brother is equally displeased, and
whom she is likely to marry; but my informant assures me that he himself
is determined not to survive such a catastrophe.
This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished: indeed, I have
weakened and impaired it in the narration, by the necessity of using the
more refined expressions of society.
This love, then, this constancy, this passion, is no poetical fiction.
It is actual, and dwells in its greatest purity amongst that class of
mankind whom we term rude, uneducated. We are the educated, not the
perverted. But read this story with attention, I implore you. I am
tranquil to-day, for I have been employed upon this narration: you see
by my writing that I am not so agitated as usual. I read and re-read
this tale, Wilhelm: it is the history of your friend! My fortune has
been and will be similar; and I am neither half so brave nor half so
determined as the poor wretch with whom I hesitate to compare myself.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (42) by J.W. von Goethe
AUGUST 4.
I am not alone unfortunate. All men are disappointed in their hopes, and
deceived in their expectations. I have paid a visit to my good old woman
under the lime-trees. The eldest boy ran out to meet me: his exclamation
of joy brought out his mother, but she had a very melancholy look. Her
first word was, "Alas! dear sir, my little John is dead." He was the
youngest of her children. I was silent. "And my husband has returned
from Switzerland without any money; and, if some kind people had not
assisted him, he must have begged his way home. He was taken ill with
fever on his journey." I could answer nothing, but made the little one
a present. She invited me to take some fruit: I complied, and left the
place with a sorrowful heart.
AUGUST 21.
My sensations are constantly changing. Sometimes a happy prospect opens
before me; but alas! it is only for a moment; and then, when I am
lost in reverie, I cannot help saying to myself, "If Albert were
to die?--Yes, she would become--and I should be"--and so I pursue a
chimera, till it leads me to the edge of a precipice at which I shudder.
When I pass through the same gate, and walk along the same road which
first conducted me to Charlotte, my heart sinks within me at the change
that has since taken place. All, all, is altered! No sentiment, no
pulsation of my heart, is the same. My sensations are such as would
occur to some departed prince whose spirit should return to visit the
superb palace which he had built in happy times, adorned with costly
magnificence, and left to a beloved son, but whose glory he should find
departed, and its halls deserted and in ruins.
SEPTEMBER 3.
I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another, how she dares
love another, when I love nothing in this world so completely, so
devotedly, as I love her, when I know only her, and have no other
possession.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (41) by J.W. von Goethe
MAY 25.
I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak to you
until it was accomplished: now that it has failed, I may as well mention
it. I wished to enter the army, and had long been desirous of taking
the step. This, indeed, was the chief reason for my coming here with the
prince, as he is a general in the service. I communicated my design to
him during one of our walks together. He disapproved of it, and it would
have been actual madness not to have listened to his reasons.
JUNE 11.
Say what you will, I can remain here no longer. Why should I remain?
Time hangs heavy upon my hands. The prince is as gracious to me as any
one could be, and yet I am not at my ease. There is, indeed, nothing
in common between us. He is a man of understanding, but quite of the
ordinary kind. His conversation affords me no more amusement than I
should derive from the perusal of a well-written book. I shall remain
here a week longer, and then start again on my travels. My drawings are
the best things I have done since I came here. The prince has a taste
for the arts, and would improve if his mind were not fettered by cold
rules and mere technical ideas. I often lose patience, when, with
a glowing imagination, I am giving expression to art and nature, he
interferes with learned suggestions, and uses at random the technical
phraseology of artists.
JULY 16.
Once more I am a wanderer, a pilgrim, through the world. But what else
are you!
JULY 18.
Whither am I going? I will tell you in confidence. I am obliged to
continue a fortnight longer here, and then I think it would be better
for me to visit the mines in–. But I am only deluding myself thus. The
fact is, I wish to be near Charlotte again, that is all. I smile at the
suggestions of my heart, and obey its dictates.
JULY 29.
No, no! it is yet well all is well! I her husband! O God, who gave me
being, if thou hadst destined this happiness for me, my whole life would
have been one continual thanksgiving! But I will not murmur–forgive
these tears, forgive these fruitless wishes. She–my wife! Oh, the very
thought of folding that dearest of Heaven’s creatures in my arms! Dear
Wilhelm, my whole frame feels convulsed when I see Albert put his arms
around her slender waist!
And shall I avow it? Why should I not, Wilhelm? She would have been
happier with me than with him. Albert is not the man to satisfy the
wishes of such a heart. He wants a certain sensibility; he wants–in
short, their hearts do not beat in unison. How often, my dear friend,
I’m reading a passage from some interesting book, when my heart and
Charlotte’s seemed to meet, and in a hundred other instances when our
sentiments were unfolded by the story of some fictitious character, have
I felt that we were made for each other! But, dear Wilhelm, he loves her
with his whole soul; and what does not such a love deserve?
I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit. I have dried my tears,
and composed my thoughts. Adieu, my best friend!
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (40) by J.W. von Goethe
MARCH 24.
I have tendered my resignation to the court. I hope it will be accepted,
and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted you. It
is necessary I should leave this place. I know all you will urge me to
stay, and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother. I am
unable to do anything for myself: how, then, should I be competent to
assist others? It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that
career which would have made me first a privy councillor, and then
minister, and that I should look behind me, in place of advancing. Argue
as you will, combine all the reasons which should have induced me
to remain, I am going: that is sufficient. But, that you may not be
ignorant of my destination, I may mention that the Prince of–is here.
He is much pleased with my company; and, having heard of my intention
to resign, he has invited me to his country house, to pass the spring
months with him. I shall be left completely my own master; and, as we
agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my fortune, and accompany
him.
APRIL 19.
Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld this
letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I feared my
mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. But my request
is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall not recount with what
reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what the minister has written:
you would only renew your lamentations. The crown prince has sent me
a present of five and twenty ducats; and, indeed, such goodness has
affected me to tears. For this reason I shall not require from my mother
the money for which I lately applied.
MAY 5.
I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six miles
from the high road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the happy
dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through which
I came with my mother, when, after my father’s death, she left that
delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town. Adieu, my
dear friend: you shall hear of my future career.
MAY 9.
I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a
pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near the great
elm tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, I got out of
the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone, and on foot, I might
enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections. I stood
there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object of my
walks. How things have since changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I sighed
for a world I did not know, where I hoped to find every pleasure and
enjoyment which my heart could desire; and now, on my return from that
wide world, O my friend, how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful
plans have I brought back!
As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me, I
thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires. Here
used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them, ardently
longing to wander in the shade of those woods, to lose myself in those
valleys, which form so delightful an object in the distance. With what
reluctance did I leave this charming spot; when my hour of recreation
was over, and my leave of absence expired! I drew near to the village:
all the well-known old summerhouses and gardens were recognised again; I
disliked the new ones, and all other alterations which had taken place.
I entered the village, and all my former feelings returned. I cannot,
my dear friend, enter into details, charming as were my sensations:
they would be dull in the narration. I had intended to lodge in the
market-place, near our old house. As soon as I entered, I perceived that
the schoolroom, where our childhood had been taught by that good old
woman, was converted into a shop. I called to mind the sorrow, the
heaviness, the tears, and oppression of heart, which I experienced in
that confinement. Every step produced some particular impression. A
pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet so many spots pregnant with
tender recollections, and his soul is hardly moved with greater
devotion. One incident will serve for illustration. I followed the
course of a stream to a farm, formerly a delightful walk of mine, and
paused at the spot, where, when boys, we used to amuse ourselves making
ducks and drakes upon the water. I recollected so well how I used
formerly to watch the course of that same stream, following it with
inquiring eagerness, forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to
pass through; but my imagination was soon exhausted: while the
water continued flowing farther and farther on, till my fancy became
bewildered by the contemplation of an invisible distance. Exactly such,
my dear friend, so happy and so confined, were the thoughts of our good
ancestors. Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as childhood.
And, when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and boundless earth,
his epithets are true, natural, deeply felt, and mysterious. Of what
importance is it that I have learned, with every schoolboy, that the
world is round? Man needs but little earth for enjoyment, and still less
for his final repose.
I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge. He is a man with
whom one can live happily. He is honest and unaffected. There are,
however, some strange characters about him, whom I cannot at all
understand. They do not seem vicious, and yet they do not carry the
appearance of thoroughly honest men. Sometimes I am disposed to believe
them honest, and yet I cannot persuade myself to confide in them. It
grieves me to hear the prince occasionally talk of things which he has
only read or heard of, and always with the same view in which they have
been represented by others.
He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart, but I
am proud of the latter only. It is the sole source of everything of our
strength, happiness, and misery. All the knowledge I possess every one
else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively my own.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (39) by J.W. von Goethe
MARCH 16.
Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B–walking to-day. I could
not help joining her; and, when we were at a little distance from her
companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner toward me. “O
Werther!” she said, in a tone of emotion, “you, who know my heart, how
could you so ill interpret my distress? What did I not suffer for you,
from the moment you entered the room! I foresaw it all, a hundred times
was I on the point of mentioning it to you. I knew that the S—-s and
T—-s, with their husbands, would quit the room, rather than remain in
your company. I knew that the count would not break with them: and
now so much is said about it.” “How!” I exclaimed, and endeavoured to
conceal my emotion; for all that Adelin had mentioned to me yesterday
recurred to me painfully at that moment. “Oh, how much it has already
cost me!” said this amiable girl, while her eyes filled with tears.
I could scarcely contain myself, and was ready to throw myself at her
feet. “Explain yourself!” I cried. Tears flowed down her cheeks. I
became quite frantic. She wiped them away, without attempting to conceal
them. “You know my aunt,” she continued; “she was present: and in
what light does she consider the affair! Last night, and this morning,
Werther, I was compelled to listen to a lecture upon my acquaintance
with you. I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated; and
I could not–I dared not–say much in your defence.”
Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart. She did not feel what a
mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me. She told me, in
addition, all the impertinence that would be further circulated, and how
the malicious would triumph; how they would rejoice over the punishment
of my pride, over my humiliation for that want of esteem for others with
which I had often been reproached. To hear all this, Wilhelm, uttered by
her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy, awakened all my passions;
and I am still in a state of extreme excitement. I wish I could find a
man to jeer me about this event. I would sacrifice him to my resentment.
The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to my fury. A hundred
times have I seized a dagger, to give ease to this oppressed heart.
Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open a
vein with their teeth, when heated and exhausted by a long course, in
order to breathe more freely. I am often tempted to open a vein, to
procure for myself everlasting liberty.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (38) by J.W. von Goethe
MARCH 15.
I have just had a sad adventure, which will drive me away from here. I
lose all patience!–Death!–It is not to be remedied; and you alone are
to blame, for you urged and impelled me to fill a post for which I was
by no means suited. I have now reason to be satisfied, and so have you!
But, that you may not again attribute this fatality to my impetuous
temper, I send you, my dear sir, a plain and simple narration of the
affair, as a mere chronicler of facts would describe it.
The Count of O–likes and distinguishes me. It is well known, and I have
mentioned this to you a hundred times. Yesterday I dined with him. It is
the day on which the nobility are accustomed to assemble at his house
in the evening. I never once thought of the assembly, nor that we
subalterns did not belong to such society. Well, I dined with the count;
and, after dinner, we adjourned to the large hall. We walked up and down
together: and I conversed with him, and with Colonel B–, who joined us;
and in this manner the hour for the assembly approached. God knows, I
was thinking of nothing, when who should enter but the honourable Lady
accompanied by her noble husband and their silly, scheming daughter,
with her small waist and flat neck; and, with disdainful looks and a
haughty air they passed me by. As I heartily detest the whole race,
I determined upon going away; and only waited till the count had
disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle, to take leave, when
the agreeable Miss B–came in. As I never meet her without experiencing
a heartfelt pleasure, I stayed and talked to her, leaning over the
back of her chair, and did not perceive, till after some time, that she
seemed a little confused, and ceased to answer me with her usual ease
of manner. I was struck with it. “Heavens!” I said to myself, “can she,
too, be like the rest?” I felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw; but I
remained, notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct, fancying she
did not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly recognition.
The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron F–, in an
entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.; the Chancellor
N–, with his deaf wife; the shabbily-dressed I–, whose old-fashioned
coat bore evidence of modern repairs: this crowned the whole.
I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they answered me
laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B–, and did not notice
that the women were whispering at the end of the room, that the murmur
extended by degrees to the men, that Madame S–addressed the count with
much warmth (this was all related to me subsequently by Miss B–); till
at length the count came up to me, and took me to the window. “You know
our ridiculous customs,” he said. “I perceive the company is rather
displeased at your being here. I would not on any account–” “I beg
your excellency’s pardon!” I exclaimed. “I ought to have thought of
this before, but I know you will forgive this little inattention. I was
going,” I added, “some time ago, but my evil genius detained me.” And I
smiled and bowed, to take my leave. He shook me by the hand, in a manner
which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the illustrious
assembly, sprang into a carriage, and drove to M–. I contemplated the
setting sun from the top of the hill, and read that beautiful passage in
Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen. This was
indeed delightful.
I returned home to supper in the evening. But few persons were assembled
in the room. They had turned up a corner of the table-cloth, and were
playing at dice. The good-natured A–came in. He laid down his hat when
he saw me, approached me, and said in a low tone, “You have met with
a disagreeable adventure.” “I!” I exclaimed. “The count obliged you to
withdraw from the assembly!” “Deuce take the assembly!” said I. “I was
very glad to be gone.” “I am delighted,” he added, “that you take it
so lightly. I am only sorry that it is already so much spoken of.” The
circumstance then began to pain me. I fancied that every one who sat
down, and even looked at me, was thinking of this incident; and my heart
became embittered.
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom, when I hear myself
everywhere pitied, and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say that
this is always the case with vain persons, whose heads are turned with
conceit, who affect to despise forms and such petty, idle nonsense.
Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage over
him. ‘Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can
suffer it without complaint.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (37) by J.W. von Goethe
FEBRUARY 8.
For a week past we have had the most wretched weather: but this to me
is a blessing; for, during my residence here, not a single fine day has
beamed from the heavens, but has been lost to me by the intrusion
of somebody. During the severity of rain, sleet, frost, and storm, I
congratulate myself that it cannot be worse indoors than abroad, nor
worse abroad than it is within doors; and so I become reconciled. When
the sun rises bright in the morning, and promises a glorious day, I
never omit to exclaim, “There, now, they have another blessing
from Heaven, which they will be sure to destroy: they spoil
everything,–health, fame, happiness, amusement; and they do this
generally through folly, ignorance, or imbecility, and always, according
to their own account, with the best intentions!” I could often
beseech them, on my bended knees, to be less resolved upon their own
destruction.
FEBRUARY 17.
I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer together.
He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his business in so
ridiculous a manner, that I am often compelled to contradict him, and do
things my own way; and then, of course, he thinks them very ill done. He
complained of me lately on this account at court; and the minister gave
me a reprimand,–a gentle one it is true, but still a reprimand. In
consequence of this, I was about to tender my resignation, when I
received a letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on
account of the high, noble, and generous spirit which dictated it. He
endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility, paid a tribute to my
extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business,
as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not seek
to destroy, but only to moderate, that it might have proper play and be
productive of good. So now I am at rest for another week, and no longer
at variance with myself. Content and peace of mind are valuable things:
I could wish, my dear friend, that these precious jewels were less
transitory.
FEBRUARY 20.
God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you that happiness
which he denies to me!
I thank you, Albert, for having deceived me. I waited for the news that
your wedding-day was fixed; and I intended on that day, with solemnity,
to take down Charlotte’s profile from the wall, and to bury it with
some other papers I possess. You are now united, and her picture still
remains here. Well, let it remain! Why should it not? I know that I
am still one of your society, that I still occupy a place uninjured in
Charlotte’s heart, that I hold the second place therein; and I intend
to keep it. Oh, I should become mad if she could forget! Albert, that
thought is hell! Farewell, Albert farewell, angel of heaven farewell,
Charlotte!
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (36) by J.W. von Goethe
JANUARY 8, 1772.
What beings are men, whose whole thoughts are occupied with form and
ceremony, who for years together devote their mental and physical
exertions to the task of advancing themselves but one step, and
endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table. Not that such
persons would otherwise want employment: on the contrary, they give
themselves much trouble by neglecting important business for such petty
trifles. Last week a question of precedence arose at a sledging-party,
and all our amusement was spoiled.
The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes
real greatness, since the man who occupies the first place but
seldom plays the principal part. How many kings are governed by their
ministers–how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in such cases,
is really the chief? He, as it seems to me, who can see through the
others, and possesses strength or skill enough to make their power or
passions subservient to the execution of his own designs.
JANUARY 20.
I must write to you from this place, my dear Charlotte, from a small
room in a country inn, where I have taken shelter from a severe storm.
During my whole residence in that wretched place D–, where I lived
amongst strangers,–strangers, indeed, to this heart,–I never at any
time felt the smallest inclination to correspond with you; but in this
cottage, in this retirement, in this solitude, with the snow and hail
beating against my lattice-pane, you are my first thought. The instant
I entered, your figure rose up before me, and the remembrance! O my
Charlotte, the sacred, tender remembrance! Gracious Heaven! restore to
me the happy moment of our first acquaintance.
Could you but see me, my dear Charlotte, in the whirl of
dissipation,–how my senses are dried up, but my heart is at no time
full. I enjoy no single moment of happiness: all is vain–nothing
touches me. I stand, as it were, before the raree-show: I see the little
puppets move, and I ask whether it is not an optical illusion. I am
amused with these puppets, or, rather, I am myself one of them: but,
when I sometimes grasp my neighbour’s hand, I feel that it is not
natural; and I withdraw mine with a shudder. In the evening I say I will
enjoy the next morning’s sunrise, and yet I remain in bed: in the day I
promise to ramble by moonlight; and I, nevertheless, remain at home. I
know not why I rise, nor why I go to sleep.
The leaven which animated my existence is gone: the charm which cheered
me in the gloom of night, and aroused me from my morning slumbers, is
for ever fled.
I have found but one being here to interest me, a Miss B–. She
resembles you, my dear Charlotte, if any one can possibly resemble you.
“Ah!” you will say, “he has learned how to pay fine compliments.” And
this is partly true. I have been very agreeable lately, as it was not
in my power to be otherwise. I have, moreover, a deal of wit: and the
ladies say that no one understands flattery better, or falsehoods you
will add; since the one accomplishment invariably accompanies the
other. But I must tell you of Miss B–. She has abundance of soul,
which flashes from her deep blue eyes. Her rank is a torment to her, and
satisfies no one desire of her heart. She would gladly retire from
this whirl of fashion, and we often picture to ourselves a life of
undisturbed happiness in distant scenes of rural retirement: and then we
speak of you, my dear Charlotte; for she knows you, and renders homage
to your merits; but her homage is not exacted, but voluntary, she loves
you, and delights to hear you made the subject of conversation.
Oh, that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room, with
the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome to you,
I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they would crowd
round me with silent attention. The sun is setting in glory; his last
rays are shining on the snow, which covers the face of the country: the
storm is over, and I must return to my dungeon. Adieu!–Is Albert with
you? and what is he to you? God forgive the question.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (35) by J.W. von Goethe
DECEMBER 24.
As I anticipated, the ambassador occasions me infinite annoyance. He is
the most punctilious blockhead under heaven. He does everything step by
step, with the trifling minuteness of an old woman; and he is a man whom
it is impossible to please, because he is never pleased with himself. I
like to do business regularly and cheerfully, and, when it is finished,
to leave it. But he constantly returns my papers to me, saying, “They
will do,” but recommending me to look over them again, as “one may
always improve by using a better word or a more appropriate particle.”
I then lose all patience, and wish myself at the devil’s. Not a
conjunction, not an adverb, must be omitted: he has a deadly antipathy
to all those transpositions of which I am so fond; and, if the music
of our periods is not tuned to the established, official key, he cannot
comprehend our meaning. It is deplorable to be connected with such a
fellow.
My acquaintance with the Count C–is the only compensation for such an
evil. He told me frankly, the other day, that he was much displeased
with the difficulties and delays of the ambassador; that people like him
are obstacles, both to themselves and to others. “But,” added he, “one
must submit, like a traveller who has to ascend a mountain: if the
mountain was not there, the road would be both shorter and pleasanter;
but there it is, and he must get over it.”
The old man perceives the count’s partiality for me: this annoys him,
and, he seizes every opportunity to depreciate the count in my hearing.
I naturally defend him, and that only makes matters worse. Yesterday he
made me indignant, for he also alluded to me. “The count,” he said, “is
a man of the world, and a good man of business: his style is good,
and he writes with facility; but, like other geniuses, he has no solid
learning.” He looked at me with an expression that seemed to ask if I
felt the blow. But it did not produce the desired effect: I despise a
man who can think and act in such a manner. However, I made a stand, and
answered with not a little warmth. The count, I said, was a man entitled
to respect, alike for his character and his acquirements. I had never
met a person whose mind was stored with more useful and extensive
knowledge,–who had, in fact, mastered such an infinite variety of
subjects, and who yet retained all his activity for the details of
ordinary business. This was altogether beyond his comprehension; and I
took my leave, lest my anger should be too highly excited by some new
absurdity of his.
And you are to blame for all this, you who persuaded me to bend my
neck to this yoke by preaching a life of activity to me. If the man who
plants vegetables, and carries his corn to town on market-days, is not
more usefully employed than I am, then let me work ten years longer at
the galleys to which I am now chained.
Oh, the brilliant wretchedness, the weariness, that one is doomed
to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here! The
ambition of rank! How they watch, how they toil, to gain precedence!
What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in their utter
nakedness! We have a woman here, for example, who never ceases to
entertain the company with accounts of her family and her estates. Any
stranger would consider her a silly being, whose head was turned by
her pretensions to rank and property; but she is in reality even
more ridiculous, the daughter of a mere magistrate’s clerk from this
neighbourhood. I cannot understand how human beings can so debase
themselves.
Every day I observe more and more the folly of judging of others by
ourselves; and I have so much trouble with myself, and my own heart is
in such constant agitation, that I am well content to let others pursue
their own course, if they only allow me the same privilege.
What provokes me most is the unhappy extent to which distinctions of
rank are carried. I know perfectly well how necessary are inequalities
of condition, and I am sensible of the advantages I myself derive
therefrom; but I would not have these institutions prove a barrier to
the small chance of happiness which I may enjoy on this earth.
I have lately become acquainted with a Miss B–, a very agreeable girl,
who has retained her natural manners in the midst of artificial life.
Our first conversation pleased us both equally; and, at taking leave,
I requested permission to visit her. She consented in so obliging a
manner, that I waited with impatience for the arrival of the happy
moment. She is not a native of this place, but resides here with her
aunt. The countenance of the old lady is not prepossessing. I paid her
much attention, addressing the greater part of my conversation to her;
and, in less than half an hour, I discovered what her niece subsequently
acknowledged to me, that her aged aunt, having but a small fortune, and
a still smaller share of understanding, enjoys no satisfaction except
in the pedigree of her ancestors, no protection save in her noble birth,
and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of the
humble citizens. She was, no doubt, handsome in her youth, and in her
early years probably trifled away her time in rendering many a poor
youth the sport of her caprice: in her riper years she has submitted
to the yoke of a veteran officer, who, in return for her person and her
small independence, has spent with her what we may designate her age of
brass. He is dead; and she is now a widow, and deserted. She spends her
iron age alone, and would not be approached, except for the loveliness
of her niece.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (34)
by J.W. von Goethe
BOOK II.
OCTOBER 20.
We arrived here yesterday. The ambassador is indisposed, and will not
go out for some days. If he were less peevish and morose, all would
be well. I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me to severe
trials; but courage! a light heart may bear anything. A light heart!
I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen. A little more
lightheartedness would render me the happiest being under the sun.
But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far
inferior abilities parade before me with the utmost self-satisfaction?
Gracious Providence, to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not
withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their
place a feeling of self-confidence and contentment?
But patience! all will yet be well; for I assure you, my dear friend,
you were right: since I have been obliged to associate continually with
other people, and observe what they do, and how they employ themselves,
I have become far better satisfied with myself. For we are so
constituted by nature, that we are ever prone to compare ourselves with
others; and our happiness or misery depends very much on the objects
and persons around us. On this account, nothing is more dangerous than
solitude: there our imagination, always disposed to rise, taking a new
flight on the wings of fancy, pictures to us a chain of beings of whom
we seem the most inferior. All things appear greater than they really
are, and all seem superior to us. This operation of the mind is quite
natural: we so continually feel our own imperfections, and fancy we
perceive in others the qualities we do not possess, attributing to them
also all that we enjoy ourselves, that by this process we form the idea
of a perfect, happy man,--a man, however, who only exists in our own
imagination.
But when, in spite of weakness and disappointments, we set to work in
earnest, and persevere steadily, we often find, that, though obliged
continually to tack, we make more way than others who have the
assistance of wind and tide; and, in truth, there can be no greater
satisfaction than to keep pace with others or outstrip them in the race.
November 26.
I begin to find my situation here more tolerable, considering all
circumstances. I find a great advantage in being much occupied; and the
number of persons I meet, and their different pursuits, create a varied
entertainment for me. I have formed the acquaintance of the Count
C--and I esteem him more and more every day. He is a man of strong
understanding and great discernment; but, though he sees farther than
other people, he is not on that account cold in his manner, but capable
of inspiring and returning the warmest affection. He appeared interested
in me on one occasion, when I had to transact some business with him. He
perceived, at the first word, that we understood each other, and that
he could converse with me in a different tone from what he used with
others. I cannot sufficiently esteem his frank and open kindness to me.
It is the greatest and most genuine of pleasures to observe a great mind
in sympathy with our own.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (33) by J.W. von Goethe ♦ SEPTEMBER 10. ♦ Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear anything. I shall never see her again. Oh, why cannot I fall on your neck, and, with floods of tears and raptures, give utterance to all the passions which distract my heart! Here I sit gasping for breath, and struggling to compose myself.
I wait for day, and at sunrise the horses are to be at the door. And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me for the last time. I am free. I have had the courage, in an interview of two hours’ duration, not to betray my intention. And O Wilhelm, what a conversation it was!
Albert had promised to come to Charlotte in the garden immediately after supper. I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, and watched the setting sun. I saw him sink for the last time beneath this delightful valley and silent stream. I had often visited the same spot with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious sight; and now–I was walking up and down the very avenue which was so dear to me. A secret sympathy had frequently drawn me thither before I knew Charlotte; and we were delighted when, in our early acquaintance, we discovered that we each loved the same spot, which is indeed as romantic as any that ever captivated the fancy of an artist.
From beneath the chestnut trees, there is an extensive view. But I remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and have described the tall mass of beech trees at the end, and how the avenue grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, till it ends in a gloomy recess, which has all the charm of a mysterious solitude. I still remember the strange feeling of melancholy which came over me the first time I entered that dark retreat, at bright midday. I felt some secret foreboding that it would, one day, be to me the scene of some happiness or misery.
I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts of going and returning, when I heard them coming up the terrace. I ran to meet them. I trembled as I took her hand, and kissed it. As we reached the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill. We conversed on many subjects, and, without perceiving it, approached the gloomy recess. Charlotte entered, and sat down. Albert seated himself beside her. I did the same, but my agitation did not suffer me to remain long seated. I got up, and stood before her, then walked backward and forward, and sat down again. I was restless and miserable. Charlotte drew our attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which threw a silver hue over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees.
It was a glorious sight, and was rendered more striking by the darkness which surrounded the spot where we were. We remained for some time silent, when Charlotte observed, “Whenever I walk by moonlight, it brings to my remembrance all my beloved and departed friends, and I am filled with thoughts of death and futurity. We shall live again, Werther!” she continued, with a firm but feeling voice; “but shall we know one another again what do you think? what do you say?”
“Charlotte,” I said, as I took her hand in mine, and my eyes filled with tears, “we shall see each other again–here and hereafter we shall meet again.” I could say no more. Why, Wilhelm, should she put this question to me, just at the moment when the fear of our cruel separation filled my heart?
“And oh! do those departed ones know how we are employed here? do they know when we are well and happy? do they know when we recall their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the shade of my mother hovers around me; when seated in the midst of my children,
I see them assembled near me, as they used to assemble near her; and then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven, and wish she could look down upon us, and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her in her last moments, to be a mother to her children. With what emotion do I then exclaim, ‘Pardon, dearest of mothers, pardon me, if I do not adequately supply your place! Alas! I do my utmost. They are clothed and fed; and, still better, they are loved and educated. Could you but see, sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst us, you would glorify God with the warmest feelings of gratitude, to whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent prayers for our happiness.'” Thus did she express herself; but O Wilhelm! who can do justice to her language? how can cold and passionless words convey the heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted her gently. “This affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte. I know your soul dwells on such recollections with intense delight; but I implore–” “O Albert!” she continued, “I am sure you do not forget the evenings when we three used to sit at the little round table, when papa was absent, and the little ones had retired. You often had a good book with you, but seldom read it; the conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything,–that beautiful, bright, gentle, and yet ever-toiling woman. God alone knows how I have supplicated with tears on my nightly couch, that I might be like her.”
I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand, bedewed it with a thousand tears. “Charlotte!” I exclaimed, “God’s blessing and your mother’s spirit are upon you.” “Oh! that you had known her,” she said, with a warm pressure of the hand. “She was worthy of being known to you.” I thought I should have fainted: never had I received praise so flattering. She continued, “And yet she was doomed to die in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six months old. Her illness was but short, but she was calm and resigned; and it was only for her children, especially the youngest, that she felt unhappy. When her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her. I obeyed. The younger ones knew nothing of their approaching loss, while the elder ones were quite overcome with grief. They stood around the bed; and she raised her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them; then, kissing them in turn, she dismissed them, and said to me, ‘Be you a mother to them.’
I gave her my hand. ‘You are promising much, my child,’ she said: ‘a mother’s fondness and a mother’s care! I have often witnessed, by your tears of gratitude, that you know what is a mother’s tenderness: show it to your brothers and sisters, and be dutiful and faithful to your father as a wife; you will be his comfort.’ She inquired for him. He had retired to conceal his intolerable anguish,–he was heartbroken, ‘Albert, you were in the room.’ She heard some one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired you to approach. She surveyed us both with a look of composure and satisfaction, expressive of her conviction that we should be happy,–happy with one another.” Albert fell upon her neck, and kissed her, and exclaimed, “We are so, and we shall be so!” Even Albert, generally so tranquil, had quite lost his composure; and I was excited beyond expression.
“And such a being,” She continued, “was to leave us, Werther! Great God, must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world? Nobody felt this more acutely than the children: they cried and lamented for a long time afterward, complaining that men had carried away their dear mamma.”
Charlotte rose. It aroused me; but I continued sitting, and held her hand. “Let us go,” she said: “it grows late.” She attempted to withdraw her hand: I held it still. “We shall see each other again,” I exclaimed: “we shall recognise each other under every possible change! I am going,”
I continued, “going willingly; but, should I say for ever, perhaps I may not keep my word. Adieu, Charlotte; adieu, Albert. We shall meet again.” “Yes: tomorrow, I think,” she answered with a smile. Tomorrow! how I felt the word! Ah! she little thought, when she drew her hand away from mine. They walked down the avenue. I stood gazing after them in the moonlight. I threw myself upon the ground, and wept: I then sprang up, and ran out upon the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the linden-trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden-gate. I stretched out my arms, and she vanished.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan.
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The Sorrows of Young Werther (32) by J.W. von Goethe ♦ AUGUST 30. ♦ Unhappy being that I am! Why do I thus deceive myself? What is to come of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I cannot pray except to her.
My imagination sees nothing but her: all surrounding objects are of no account, except as they relate to her. In this dreamy state I enjoy many happy hours, till at length I feel compelled to tear myself away from her. Ah, Wilhelm, to what does not my heart often compel me! When I have spent several hours in her company, till I feel completely absorbed by her figure, her grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind becomes gradually excited to the highest excess, my sight grows dim, my hearing confused, my breathing oppressed as if by the hand of a murderer, and my beating heart seeks to obtain relief for my aching senses. I am sometimes unconscious whether I really exist. If in such moments I find no sympathy, and Charlotte does not allow me to enjoy the melancholy consolation of bathing her hand with my tears, I feel compelled to tear myself from her, when I either wander through the country, climb some precipitous cliff, or force a path through the trackless thicket, where I am lacerated and torn by thorns and briers; and thence I find relief. Sometimes I lie stretched on the ground, overcome with 
fatigue and dying with thirst; sometimes, late in the night, when the moon shines above me, I recline against an aged tree in some sequestered forest, to rest my weary limbs, when, exhausted and worn, I sleep till break of day. O Wilhelm! the hermit’s cell, his sackcloth, and girdle of thorns would be luxury and indulgence compared with what I suffer. Adieu! I see no end to this wretchedness except the grave.
♦ SEPTEMBER 3. ♦ I must away. Thank you, Wilhelm, for determining my wavering purpose. For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her. I must away. She has returned to town, and is at the house of a friend. And then, Albert–yes, I must go.
The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther) by J.W. von Goethe. Translated by R.D. Boylan
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