Montague Horatio Mostyn Turtle Pigott: Melody versus Malady (Poem)

Melody versus Malady

[The Lancet recently discussed the value of music in the
treatment of disease.]

Away with all doctors and physic-concocters !

Down with surgeons and down with physicians !
In future hautboys will replace • doctor’s boys,

And when ailing we’ll send for musicians.

The gentle guitar will soon banish catarrh,

The organ organic diseases ;
The ophicleide serves to establish the nerves,

The mandolin measles appeases.

If you catch influenza just try a cadenza
On the harmless and homely harmonium,

And if you complain of a sprain or a strain
Then summon the soothing euphonium.

Try the cornet for corns and for ague French horns,
And if you should feel very sick or low

Try an air on the lute, a few notes from the flute.
Or the piercing yet popular piccolo.

Montague Horatio Mostyn Turtle Pigott
(1865–1927)
Melody versus Malady (Poem)
• fleursdumal.nl magazine

More in: Archive O-P, Archive O-P, Mostyn Turtle Pigott